Monday, December 29, 2014

With Wondering Awe


Merry Christmas from the Crisis Center!!! 

 And since this bit of cheer is also a few days tardy....Happy New Year, too!!!


I hope all that read this had a wonderful Christmas. I know, unfortunately, at least one of my dear friends did not. I wish I could have swooped you up and brought you here. We were blessed with an unusual helping of Christmas magic this year....and it had nothing to do with Santa.

One of the ways that my Sweet Man and I have been able to make Christmas 'happen' for our children is to let go of everything needing to be purchased new. We also start shopping in June or July. We look for items at yard sales and second hand stores that fill the needs of our children. Then the week before Christmas we assess all the needs again, and go shopping for any gaps.

There were more pressing needs this year than purchasing presents and the two of us counseled together and came to the conclusion that all would be well with what we already had. My faith in God and his goodness has been strengthened. He is so generous!

We divvied up the loot from our summer adventures and were shocked at what we found. (I tend to forget what I hide as time goes by!) There were nearly new clothes for just the children that needed them, shoes in just the right sizes for the feet that were in want, and exciting little treasures that made just the right amount of annoying noise for my little boys. When we finished, all we were lacking was a dolly for Miss Ivy and something fun for Sir Matt. At almost the exact moment we realized this, my sister-in-law brought a bag to the door and asked us if we could use some dollies and trucks. Her sister had passed them on weeks earlier with us in mind. I wouldn't classify dollies and trucks in the needs department....but apparently my Maker does. What a tender mercy and a reminder to me that even the slightest and insignificant details of my life are noticed by a very kind and loving Father in Heaven.

There were so many tender moments for me this year. Maybe because I wasn't caught up in the shopping, maybe because I was trying harder to find those moments. Our thoughts were not wrapped  up in to-do lists but rather with two tiny babies that were each fighting for their life. A change in perspective is often a result of a change in prayers. I am so grateful that my niece's son is out of the NICU and in his mother's arms where he belongs. I am also filled with rejoicing that my dear friend's precious daughter has made it through her second heart surgery. Oh, happy day!

When I wrote about my Irish Twins I mentioned a tad bit about our Christmas traditions. We were delighted this year to have a few extra souls around our dinner table on Christmas Eve. The Little People were very excited to have their own special Little People table. When I brought in the fresh centerpiece I had made with some branches of their Grandpa W's climbing trees, they decided they should have something special in the middle of their little table, too. It touched my heart that they unanimously chose their wooden nativity scene.

After dinner we began the exciting search for costumes to be worn during our reading of Luke.  Maybe exciting isn't the right word. Perhaps creative is more fitting when you imagine grown men with silk scarves tied around their heads and one of the sheep wearing a monkey blanket!

Even our Nativity seemed more special this year. My sweet baby Miss Nichole is not a baby any more. She was 'espoused' for realsies to her 'Joseph' just two nights earlier. There was genuine love, compassion and tenderness as he lead the 'donkey' (Sir Tom) into the living room and he and 'Mary' laid the baby Jesus (Sir Harley for the fourth year in a row!) into the ottoman...I mean manger.








I was slightly nervous about having visitors at our Christmas Eve testimony meeting. These very precious moments with my children are my favorite of the entire year. I had absolutely nothing to fear and everything to gain. Having 'extras' is going to be our new favorite tradition. I learned so much from each of them and the love that was felt in our home was only magnified. What a great blessing to have even more of the best in life.







And then, as if my heart wasn't full enough, I received a phone call Christmas morning from my beautiful son that I haven't talked to since Mother's Day. He is so happy! We were able to Skype with him later in the day and his countenance simply radiated. Hearing his upbeat voice, even if it is with an accent, will get me through these last few weeks of his mission.





 I overheard one of my children saying this morning, "Only 361 days until Christmas!" 

Maybe I'll start decorating right now.




Monday, December 22, 2014

Learning to Listen

 WARNING: My life can be strange and I will not be responsible for any emotional outbursts you may experience while reading about it. Also, I started writing this post weeks ago so some occurrences may seem slightly off....like only having three children in the house versus 20, which seems to be more prevalent than not lately. 

 

As I write today I only have three children in the house. Two of them are teenagers who are in the kitchen making cookies. They aren't just creaming butter and sugar either. They are remaking the lyrics to pop songs and thinking I can't hear. Instead of Get up Off of That Thang I'm hearing Lick it Off of That Chair. Apparently Miss Bella is helping and she might have broken an egg or two.

The rest of the children have been rented out for the afternoon as chaperones. I have no problem with that. If a young man wants to impress me by taking eight of my children on a date in order to sit by the ninth.....I'll donate a van to his cause. I could get used to this.

Actually, the usual noise doesn't bother me......most of the time.  I stay sane because I have the remarkable ability to tune noise out. The Little People love it when I turn on this Super Hero power of mine. They get permission to eat ice cream for breakfast, invite dozens of their closest friends over for a party, and once even received the go ahead to burn a sofa in the back yard. I frequently find myself in a daze wondering what I just said yes to.

I don't always tune them out. Some of the best laughs I get come from the darndest things that come out of my babies' mouths. The trick here is that I have to spend time with them in order to hear these things.

The other trick is for me to focus while they are speaking.

Now and then, especially on car trips, I spend the day with a pad and pencil and write down all the funny things they say. I could pen an entire volume just with kid quotes. They aren't as amusing without the facial expressions and emotion behind them, but still make me smile when I read them again.

And since they make me smile....I thought someone else might enjoy a giggle, too!

But.....if you are looking to read words from a perfect mom who is raising a perfect family....stop perusing right now. We are not always fit for public. There are a few very uncouth words that my parents taught me not to say that get said at my house. "Butt" jokes seem to be inevitable when bringing up boys. My bad. I tried to ban that word but keep using it myself so of course it comes out of them as well. I'll add that to my resolutions list. Maybe. 

The following were quote excerpts sent in my weekly emails to my missionary children this past year:



This week has been another one that found your dear Mother saying all kinds of interesting things like:

"Ivy, you have to wear clothes".
"Harley, you have to wear clothes".
"Of course your throat hurts! You shouldn't have eaten the play dough!"
"Does any one know where Ivy is?"
"You pooped in the toilet!?!?!?!?!?!?!" "Yeah for Harley!"
"I did not get you a super man monster truck for your birthday."
"Ivy, you can't keep changing Harley's diapers!"
"I found the floor in the laundry room!!!!"
"Yes, you may go on a frog hunting expedition!"
"You held hands with whom?!??!?"
"I bought cocoa puffs for Sean's birthday present, just like he asked."
"Think of your brother's head when you serve and the ball is sure to go over the net.
"




And then the very next week I typed this list of interesting interactions for Miss Nichole and ELder Spencer...I didn't want them to feel left out of the fray:


 
"Sean, stop farting on your sister!"
"You have pretty eyes," says my sweet Harley to me!
"Lobster Bisque," says too many people in our family! (Apparently an inside joke that I am not in on).
"You want to have a Family Home Evening on sex education!?!?!?," says Jake trying to pass off a Family Life merit badge.
"We like it when you cry," says the Primary presidency trying to convince me to play the part of Mary Magdalene.....again!
And then there was me, running around the house screaming and laughing like I'd won the lottery because Harley wore big boy shorties for 5 whole hours without an accident! I see light!



One of my all time favorites is a quote from Sir James. We were all packed into Moby Dick and had been on the road for quite some time. I began to hear the low rumblings of teasing. I chose to ignore the bad and focus on the good. It didn't help. I attempted to employ super powers to no avail. The rumblings turned into full out giggles and crying. The giggles and crying become out right laughing, with the exception of Sir James, who sobs at peak volume, "Sean keeps calling me a butthead!"

Well the Mama is not having that. I have reached the point that no mother should be pushed to. I turned around in my seat to end this once and for all. I'm immediately stopped in mid I've-had-enough sentence. There before me is the accused "butthead" with a pair of underpants over his ears, his sweet little face poking through the leg hole, wondering for everything what the big deal is.


Now how do you parent that with a straight face?


I hope that you haven't been absolutely disgusted with me for sharing too much information and will keep reading....because not everything that children say is humorous. Sometimes what they say is down right sobering. Sometimes their words come straight from Heaven.

A dear friend of mine posted a tender story today. She is an amazing mother and radiates so much patience. One of her many children has had a multitude of physical challenges that leaves him in a wheelchair and also with a very limited ability to speak out. She tenderly kneels by him when they communicate. She wrote today that he had said something sweet to her and she told him, "you sure have had a lot of sweet things to say lately. Is that your gift to Jesus for Christmas?"


"He thought for a minute and then replied, "No, it's Jesus' gift to me."


Now how do you parent that without awe?










Friday, December 5, 2014

Attitude Adjustment


Woolly mammoths! I've been trying to write this post for days! I just keep getting caught up in one thing after another and the next thing I know, the week is gone. But I promised myself this morning that I would not go to bed until my thoughts were thinked and organized and jotted down for posterity. And so here I sit, in the middle of the night, the last stitch put in a leotard, the final baby asleep in bed, all momentary crises have been averted.....and I feel the strange sensation of solitude.

I had no idea the refrigerator made that much noise!



I've been looking at the picture above for the past few days and my heart just swells up with so much gratitude. I'm grateful for the obvious things in this picture. I have a beautiful family. We are all healthy today. We live in a wonderful part of the world. We have warm clothes and a fresh Christmas tree. I'm grateful that we are out of the van now and I don't have to listen to all ten renditions of Jingle Bells again (for a day or two).

But mostly I'm grateful because I am happy. That seems really selfish. I don't know how else to say it. I'm happy and I'm happy that I'm happy.

After our first child was born I was slammed with post postpartum depression. It got worse with our second child. By the time our third was here.....even now I can't bring myself to write about those years. I will, though. I will. Another day.

The holidays, all holidays - but especially from Halloween to Valentine's Day, make me cringe. Not because I'm a fuddy dud or anything. It's just that I get so overwhelmed. And then I usually find myself spiraling to the bottom of a depression pit.

I have learned over the past 20 or so years a few things about my depression. (I claim it because it is my depression and because when I talk about it I don't assume that everyone else that suffers does so the same as me). I've learned that there are certain things/people/events that are triggers and that my reaction to those triggers will determine whether I survive or whether I swirl into the abyss. 

I've learned to be more reasonable about the whole celebration process. Instead of helping every child make something for every one of their siblings, I now buy fun things at yard sales during the summer and hide them away. The Little People get to wash walls or organize cupboards to be able to "shop" from my stash. We still make a lot of things but just not as much. I know some families just draw names, which in our case would make sense. Do the math, if all my children get each other a present (and they do) that makes 156 gifts. But I can't bring myself to cut that part of Christmas back. They are so much more excited to give than they are to receive and I want to keep it that way. So I decided to cut back something else instead.

I decided to say adios to some of my negative thoughts. What a novel idea! And without negative thoughts I'm stuck wallowing in my gratitude. Go figure.



Miss Nichole got a fun call this week from one of her mission companions. She and another friend they met while serving in Texas came to stay with us. That statement will usually be enough to find me singing looney tunes. I LOVE having people over. It's the words tumbling around in my head that get me. (My dishes aren't done, my laundry has grown into the kitchen, our carpet is dirty, I bought too many books again and now there is nowhere to sit.....). Instead I took a deep breath, and calmly ordered the Little People to check the bathroom for toilet paper, towels, and soap. I sent up a prayer of thankfulness that we had cooked an extra turkey and there were plenty of left overs. And then I enjoyed these delightful people. Really enjoyed them. I sincerely want them to come back again soon.

Last year I had to sit in a cold van with four freezing, tired, hungry babies while My Man marched up the mountain and killed a tree. I felt like I was just doing what I had to do to make Christmas happy for everyone else.

This year I planned ahead. We loaded up the propane tank, stopped at the grocery store where I splurged on some really good cocoa, and headed to the hills singing. I had a delightful time cooking chili for my family and watching them make epic sledding attempts. Instead of being the martyr suffering for the cause I was the "Best Mom ever!" (Sir Thomas said so.)

By the end of the weekend we had cooked Thanksgiving, cleaned the house (sort of), set up for a craft fair, watched all the Little People perform their dances at the Christmas Ball, petted the reindeer, cut the tree, sled the hill, attended my niece's wedding, listened to Brianna play the piano in a concert, blew up fireworks, marched in a parade, and then Sunday visited another niece as she reported on her mission to Oregon.

And I'm still happy.

I'm smiling because we've had food to eat, a home to live in, a washing machine that works, a community that celebrates, friends that share, family that cares, opportunities for our children, taste and touch and sight and hearing.....and we have each other. And we have a miraculous God that puts everything into perspective....





....and I'm married to a man that belongs on the cover of a magazine. Hubba hubba!!!