Dear Me

I get calls now and then from other mothers that need to pick my brain. Sometimes they call because they or one of their loved ones has been diagnosed with celiac disease and they don't know where to start. I also get a lot of requests from women who decide to bring their children home to educate them and want my advice on schedules and textbooks and social skills. I really like these conversations and generally find myself learning from them as well.

One of Miss Nichole's childhood friends has started her family. She recently asked for some talk time. I sure love this Little Woman. I forget when we are speaking that she was just a child a few years ago. She's a grown up now and doing a wonderful job tackling marriage and motherhood. She asked for my ideas on some simple things like clothing organization and cloth diapers. I say simple, but it's little things like these that populate the city of Mommydom.

As I began contemplating what to say to her that would be the most useful I couldn't help but visualize myself in her position. (I really have been there, done that... and I have the worn out T-shirt to prove it.) I remember how difficult learning the ropes can be, probably because I'm still learning them. If I could go back and talk to the young mommy me, knowing what I know now, what would I say?

Dear Julie,
     
 I know you are tired and sore and never bargained on throwing up everyday for eight months straight, but don't wish it away. That Little Person wiggling around in you is so safe and warm and easy to take care of. Let her stay there for as long as possible and enjoy it. If the heartburn gets too bad let it remind you of the miracle you are lucky enough to be a part of. 
   
  When your sweet babies are born, please let someone take care of you. Those first few days are so magical and will be gone in a moment. Don't waste a single minute doing dishes or laundry or entertaining guests. You keep those first moments all to yourself. Your body needs to heal and you need to have all that energy saved for the next few months of sleepless nights.
   
 Speaking of sleepless nights, those will begin to gang up on you. Remember that everything of worth will require sacrifice. If you have to give something up, let it be the housekeeping. I promise that what others think of your vacuumed carpets will never compare to taking care of your health. Your children need you...and some reasonably nutritious food. Matching socks and coordinated outfits will mean nothing five years from now. A grouchy mother will be remembered for decades.(I know your teenagers, so I can assure you of this.)

   I know you are worried about what brands to buy and how much of this and when to do that. What you really need to do is trust yourself. You know what to do. You know when things ring true and when things just aren't right. Stand up for yourself. Stop trying to please everyone else. Just be you. You are the one that was blessed with this child. You are the one entitled to inspiration specific to her needs. Be strong!

    Take some time while your Little Person is still itty bitty and contemplate what you want your home to be like fifteen years from now. The habits you start now will be the mold that shapes tomorrow. You want your teenager to say his prayers, eat dinner at the table, tell you all about his day and then hug you goodnight, so start doing those things right now.

    I know you will spend most of your life struggling with organization. It just isn't a strength yet. But don't give up. The adversary will whisper in your ear that you are not good enough, that you don't measure up. He'll tell you that other women do everything you do and they do it better. Well just you send that evil whisper right back where it came from. You are the only you. God wouldn't have sent these particular children to your home if they required a pack-rat free environment. Just keep focusing on the things you do right and magnify the gifts you have been given. I'll write you again when I'm sixty and let you know all that is possible without eighteen diapers to change every day and toddlers that undo more than you can ever do.

   Pay close attention to everything your children say between the ages of 9 and 13. It will be a lot. They will talk until your ears will swell up. But listen to them, because if you do they will still be talking to you when they turn 14 and 15 and 16. And you want that.
  
  There is opposition to all things. There will be ups and there will be downs. Just ride them and learn from them and be gracious enough to help others that have been bucked off their horses. The really rough spots will not last forever and they will help you to recognize and appreciate the good times.

  One more thing before I go. That good man that is sitting next to you....tell him thank you..... a lot. He is sleepless and worried and tired, too. You mean everything to him. Hug him a little tighter and make sure he knows that he means everything to you! 

Love,

Yourself

 P.S. You won't always feel like dancing in the rain. That's okay. Just learn from your babies. Storms leave behind beautiful puddles!